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The kind young lady said to me:
Most of my friends and friends who used to love each other during university and got married did not work out and got divorced between them.
I told her: My daughter, the circumstances surrounding the youth while studying have no responsibility other than studying and enjoying life without responsibilities that differ from the reality of practical life after graduation.
Human relations must correspond to a new reality we live in, new responsibilities, successes and failures that occur to each one, and the surrounding balances change and feelings change. Therefore, it is necessary to wait in the decision to marry after graduation and work.
Another young man said:
I mean, do you advise a late marriage at an older age?
I said, every relationship has its own circumstances, and I cannot specify a specific age, but I advise you to wait and not rush after feelings only in certain circumstances, as circumstances may change and feelings change.
One of the dreamers, a philosopher girl, said: Like summer friends and travel friends; With the end of the summer and the trip, the friendship may not continue in the same way to change the circumstances of life.
I said: Indeed
Another said, and what do you advise us to marry?
I said:
Gibran Khalil Gibran says about marriage, things I have repeated since I read his great book “The Prophet”. Says by me:
In marriage, you are together to build a life. However, let there be spaces between you. And let each of you give the other of his loaf, but do not share one loaf. The pillars of the temple are based on a detachment.
And the strings of the harp sing, though pulled apart.
Science and quantum physics say: The basic structure of the entire universe is something smaller than everything called the quark, which are filaments that dance and oscillate in different ways, thus forming matter. And God in my mind is the maestro who makes each group of quarks vibrate differently, so matter is formed, which is an expression of energy, according to the type of vibration. As if all life is a piece of music and the universe is a divine melody.
Likewise, our life and our association with life partners, be it a husband or a friend, is a system that needs harmony and harmony, like a piece of music or a symphony of life. Two write it and play it together. They avoid discord and seek to raise it to build a beautiful family together.
Realistic guy said:
Isn’t marriage a deal like all deals that we achieve a goal behind?
I said:
Marriage is neither a contract nor a deal. Marriage is a moral obligation between a man and a woman who seek to make each other happy and build a family. Marriage is a declaration between people of a commitment between two people between whom there is love and respect.
If a person enters into marriage with the aim of profit and achieving goals, then it is a marriage that will end inevitable.
Another young woman said:
What about separation and divorce?
I said:
If one of the parties seeks a divorce without a serious attempt at reconciliation, he is mistaken. Do not submit to marriage unless you have love, friendship, affection and respect. The four pillars, if one of them collapses, the obligation falls and disappears. And if you decide not to complete the commitment, due to your failure to create a joint life, then separate without grudge and without hatred. Again, marriage is not just a contract and a deal that we make a profit from. Let’s meet with love and separate affectionately.
A young woman who travels a lot said:
When I get married I will marry in England where the law gives me the right to half of my husband’s wealth upon divorce.
I said: So you did not hear me, if the goal of marriage is to obtain benefit, then the end of it will be to harm both of you, because in the request for benefit upon separation, you give the other party the right to harm you, and even in the materialistic Western world, the benefits accrue to law firms and not to the spouses . They marry in good faith and separate in good faith.
An educated young man said: When we differ, things become complicated, Doctor, and these values disappear.
I said: Be assured, my children, that the right is not in a Western or local law, the right remains a right in all cases. People’s minerals show the hour of disagreement, so do not rush to harm, but strive to achieve benefit with high morals, generosity and tolerance. If there are no children between you, then let your separation be without harm or benefit.
A young woman recently divorced said:
My ex-husband tortured me and made me give up all my rights and I have a child from him in order to get a divorce. Is this pleasing to God or because I only live in Egypt?
I told her: No, if you marry according to the Sunnah of God and His Messenger, God is not satisfied that you do not receive the maintenance and care of your children, in Egypt or elsewhere, and God is not satisfied with taking away the wife’s half of the property of her ex-wife if you are in the West, as your colleague says.
A wise young man said: One last piece of advice, doctor, about happiness in life.
I said:
Happiness is a positive decision, and it has components, if we do not seek it, we may not find it. It is true that some people, including myself, have their genes ready for joy, and they see in people the best in themselves, and in the events around them, the most beautiful of them. But if a person is not seeking joy, and seeking happiness, days may pass, and he does not see it because he is not looking for it.
And the collective mind of the family and society, may create positive energy and vice versa. This collective mind is driven by the community’s culture, community leaders, media and arts. And emotional preparation for it starts from a young age, at home, school and university, in the club and the square, in houses of prayer… mosques, churches and temples.
Life is a blessing from the Creator, and joy in it is thanks to God, and we have to yearn for it and taste it.
