Dialogues About Human Values Mighty Facing Between Generations (1)

Dialogues About Human Values
Mighty Facing Between Generations (1)
Painting by me

The bold and intelligent young woman said:
You told us, Doctor, that education, media and culture are the most important pillars of building conscience, and that the family, school and society are responsible for what we see of violence, harassment and corruption, So you should not criticize the youth, but you should blame yourselves as a generation responsible for all this.
I said: You are absolutely right, my daughter.
She said: Let’s start with education. What is the situation from your point of view?
I said: The child and the youth spend about eighteen years of age in the educational institutions for which the state is responsible. From here we found the importance of understanding the vision and the message of the community leaders regarding the rights of citizenship and belonging to Egypt and being proud of it, and respecting women and their rights cumulatively, directly and indirectly, for our children and youth. There is no place where all citizens gather for 14 years at school and 4 years at university in a framework with walls, limited by time and place, like educational institutions.
We have to admit that if a single-minded, fanatical, intolerant of pluralism, violent or extremist and harassing youth graduates from these educational institutions, we must be doing something wrong.
With all due respect, said the young woman, I doubt that the responsible generations had an agreed-upon vision and a cumulative strategy; for me and also my colleagues believe that the reason for the challenge that young people face is the confusion of the ideas of the parents’ generation. We, with all our mistakes, are the result of your lack of clarity and the confusion of your thoughts.
I said, “say everything you have.”
She said: You are a generation with those who preceded you. You have confusion in political, social and cultural concepts. Are we a modern civil state, as some of you say, and as we believe, or a Salafi religious state? Things are mixed up ahead. Does society respect freedom of opinion, respect women, believe in pluralism, and have tolerance that accepts those who differ from it? I doubt that your generation is stable on its orientations. You are in conflict over concepts since the beginning of the twentieth century and blame us for what happened in our hearts.
I said: In order not to get into an argument instead of a dialogue, I agree with you, but I am looking for solutions.
She said: We are going back to education.
I said: In the book of Dr. Taha Hussein, the famous “Future of Culture in Egypt,” was talking about illiteracy. He said wisely, that literacy does not mean learning to read and write, but rather the literacy of reading, writing and understanding; Because if we eradicate the illiteracy of reading and writing without understanding, he who reads and does not understand will be subject to being controlled by those who think. The issue is not reading and writing, but a matter that includes a deep understanding, the ability to choose, make decisions, and distinguish between right and wrong.
The challenge of education is a cross-border issue. There is no such thing as Egyptian or foreign education. Education is one; Because it is based on the same foundations, and the development is proceeding in the same way, but in the last 10 years something happened that did not exist before, and the Covid 19 pandemic came and clarified the depth of the crisis.
In the last 10 years, technology has become a major imposition in life, and education is changing comprehensively in its means and means of delivering knowledge to students; Knowledge has become available to everyone at no cost. The role of education has changed from simply transferring knowledge to the minds of students to coexisting with students in school and university, which means that the issue has become digital and humanized education and not a changing curriculum; Rather, it is a model for coexistence within the framework of the educational institution in a digital and human framework at the same time.

We are now talking about education after Corona, distance education and new methods and how to use them. But I am aware that it is possible that we can succeed in developing education and use the means of development to a great extent, but we may also unintentionally leave the innovator, the scientist, the creative and the genius, but at the same time, the extremist in thought, the violent and the harasser; The issue is not about introducing a human rights curriculum to prevent violence or issuing instructions to prevent harassment and respect the different, but rather a way of life within the educational institution from which this young man/woman emerges, able to distinguish between right and wrong and to live in a framework that respects the rights of others without the excessive violence that exists in modern societies. The making of conscience takes place in educational institutions, in the family, in the media, in the atmosphere of general culture and the arts. New things such as toys, electronics, the use of the Internet, access to unlimited knowledge, YouTube and others interfere in education.
All this technology is available to children and young people without any control on our part; Whoever tries to stand in front of its use, the fate of his efforts will be failure.
Is this an ordeal or an opportunity?
If we learn how to use the tools of the age to create a conscience that allows tolerance, acceptance of pluralism, acceptance and respect of others, and peace with ourselves and others, we will have an opportunity to jump over challenges built over the years. And if we wait for the solution to come through prayer and wishful thinking, society will slip further and plunge into contradictions imposed on our generation and those who preceded us as a result of ignorance, between modernity and Salafism, between enlightenment and ignorance, between science and knowledge, myths of the past and beliefs created in people’s conscience at a time when knowledge was few and the methodology of science was absent.

Wisdom and experience says:
First: that no educational system rises above the level of its teachers; If we are talking about a curriculum taught and an awareness of rights that are taught to modern generations, a future industry, and a personal industry, then our goal should be focused on those in charge of the educational process, such as teachers and administrators; Because they are the facilitators of the student’s access to knowledge in the educational institution, we must define our goal to raise the level of the teacher and the level of education together.
The second wisdom says, that to improve the level of education, an atmosphere must be created for the learner; If the atmosphere of education is ugly and has no beauty, do not expect from learner to love beauty, or to have soul serenity, and also if the climate is full of lies and dishonesty, then we should not expect education to rise to a higher level that we think will be alone.
The third wisdom reminds us of what separates man from other creatures; And what has God placed in man that distinguishes him from them? The answer is imagination, dream, accumulation of knowledge and free will to make his decision.
Children are the most imaginative and wider dreamy of us, and if we consider the violence that we present to our children in games, films and animations; To realize the extent of the emotional transmission that you instill in them and shape their dreams. The other broadcast comes from the claimant of religiosity with superstitions that have no basis in our sound and beautiful religion to complete an emotional system that has nothing to do with modernity and science.
My respect for Al-Azhar has been Known to everyone, but this does not prevent me from wondering how to influence the conscience of a student who spends fourteen years of study in schools and then four years at a university in Al-Azhar education and does not sit next to a Christian and does not sit next to a girl – to accept that These citizens with him have the same rights.
If there are policies, they should be applied to everyone; Because it shouldn’t offer a path that permits the singularity of thought, and another that permits a plurality of thought; The message must change, for I have not yet encountered a message that combines the two approaches. We want more creativity in incorporating ideas and removing confusion.
In my opinion, this is the responsibility of governments and community leaders, and we must show real seriousness in dealing with this matter; Without making these human concepts known and integrating them into new technologies, it is very difficult to expect a new generation that is more creative, more ingenious, more tolerant and less extreme at the same time.
Yes, my daughter, you have a right, and our generation should strive with you and with you to get out of this predicament, overcome confusion in concepts and impose a path without contradiction between what we say and what we do.
To be continued …

Mighty Facing Between Generations (2)
Painting by Basant El Kordy

Continuing the confrontation between generations, the dialogue extended between me and the youth of tomorrow’s dreamers and some of their families about the different views and accusations of the young people from the older two generations that they are the reason for their conflicting concepts and mixing their values.
The rebellious, educated young woman said: You have mentioned to us, Doctor, that you want to include some important human values ​​in the programs of educational institutions, with the aim of building the healthy conscience of children and youth, and we want to discuss with you what these values ​​are, and do they have the same concept as us?
I said: This is an important subject; Because I agree with you that our generation, and those before it and after it, may be a cause of confusion in the concepts of some values ​​you have, especially by repeatedly mentioning them and at the same time working against them.
I and a group of researchers have identified 35 important human values ​​that must be established in society; And to ensure agreement on its standards and means of scientific measurement.
She said: There are two types of values, values ​​that you claim and values ​​that you live, so what kind do you mean?
I said: I understand what you mean, despite its harshness, but I am accepting it. And you have to understand that the first stage of truth is the confession and identification of reality, and this is the reason for my interest in values ​​and their definition with you, and to clarify the type of gap that may have occurred between generations in this matter. When I use the word “values” I mean the values ​​we live by; That is, those we do not violate in our actions, in our relations with others, in our relations with nature, in our practical attitudes, and for which we are willing to pay the price, are the principles that govern what we do, and not what we say or think, unless it is Compatible with what we do; Our actions are the true determinant of the values ​​we hold and live by it.
There is no sense in dialogue about values ​​in isolation from practice and the societal context in its various dimensions. It is also meaningless to debate about values ​​in politics and other in education, one in religion and other in economics, science, society or the arts… as if there are different sets of values ​​in different fields, values ​​are indivisible and should not be divided.
One of the mothers who attended the dialogue said: How do you say that values ​​are not divided? There are religious values, for example, that we have to establish and impose on our children.
I said: my lady, values ​​are not slogans to be raised; Rather, they are convictions that are translated through our actions, behavior, and interactions with others. They are principles embedded in our actions and relationships. And it came in Islam that “religion is the transaction,” and it came on the tongue of Christ, peace be upon him: If someone says: “I love God” and hates his brother, then he is a liar. In other words, the two expressions confirm that the religious criterion is due to our relationship with ourselves and with others, how we treat them and the extent of our sincerity with them and our love for them, meaning that the difference between reality and claim with respect to values ​​lies in actions and not in words. With regard to the Prophet Muhammad and Jesus, peace be upon them, their focus was on the righteous person, and on noble morals, and all religions do not differ in the quality of virtuous human values. Cross-religious values.
The first young woman said: What are these main values ​​that you speak of?
I said: We chose 35 values, which are honesty, accuracy, beauty, tolerance, love, cleanliness, freedom, patience, courage, mercy, faith, knowledge, benevolence, thanks, apology, forgiveness, giving, respect, compassion, gratitude, happiness, friendship. Responsibility – citizenship – humility – justice – perfection – righteousness to parents – pride – listening – sacrifice – obedience – solidarity – integrity – participation.
Another young man said: I will choose four values ​​from what you say, Doctor. I see that we will differ in their definition, and we will discuss them with you.
I said: Please go ahead .
His colleague said: We chose the values ​​of patience, courage, sacrifice, respect and obedience.
A third commented – which indicates that they cleverly when they knew the topic of dialogue, they did their duty to discuss together before meeting me, which made me happy – he commented, saying: For example, I have a desire to change the value of patience that we call for. There is passive patience that I do not like, which is contentment with illness, pain, failure, and sometimes we call it God’s decree. What we consider God’s decree may not be final, and a person can change and modify it. This is passive patience. As for positive patience, it is the relentless pursuit to change the non-sick or painful reality, searching for a cure and taking medicine, if any, and changing what is in the soul to change what is around it. Doctor, the value of the Ayyubid patience is contentment with what we think God has divided for us and waiting for his release.
We are not satisfied with that, and we do not want to pass it on to the children.
Patience is not the key to relief. Rather, thinking about salvation and striving to change reality, if it is inappropriate, is the key to relief.
We want to change the sign in the employees’ offices that says patience is the key to relief to pursuit and work is the key to relief knowledge is the key to relief.
I said: You did well in your expression, and I agree with you on the introduction to modifying the concept.
His colleague said: I basically find the value of sacrifice strange; Because there is nothing that can be described as sacrifice.
I smiled in astonishment and said, “Then you do not recognize the mother’s sacrifice of her children, or the sacrifice in love that poets and writers wrote about, for example?!!!
She said: You taught us to search for the definition of each word and its meaning before engaging in any dialogue, and the definition of sacrifice is to sacrifice oneself, time, or money for a higher purpose, and for a more hopeful goal, free of charge, and you focus with us in a sentence without compensation. So, sacrifice is the action. Which has no equivalent, and the truth is that all human actions have a reward, so the happiness of the mother with the success of her children or the success in protecting them is the equivalent.
Nature says that what parents do for their children makes them happier, and their happiness is their reward. And spending money and soul while waiting for reward with God is a very great return. There is no sacrifice in loving relationships; Because the happiness of lovers in giving to each other is their reward, and the word sacrifice usually appears when love stops and each one looks at the past, and sees what he was doing as a sacrifice. In the hour of action it was not a sacrifice; Because the happiness of loving tender was the return.
He looked at their colleague and said: As for the assimilation of the value of respect with obedience, it is totally unacceptable. Basically obedience to the slaves, not to the free ones. I understand adherence to rules, I understand dialogue with respect, I understand commitment to contract or agreement… As for obedience, it means giving up reason and enslaving people.
The first young woman said: Definitions of courage in lexicons, psychology books, and religious and moral references say, that courage in language denotes courage and taking risks and adversities. And in courage is equanimity and steadfastness, in addition to the underestimation of death and indifference or fear of it, and there have been Arab definitions that courage is the one in which a brave person exerts himself in defense of religion, the harem, the oppressed neighbor or the oppressed, and the oppressed in money, honor or in The various paths of truth, whether the injustice is a little or a lot.
I said well done again, and we return to the topic of sacrifice. Courage is the confrontation with knowledge and the ability to execute, otherwise it becomes recklessness.. It is facing injustice knowingly with justice and the ability to establish it. And the face of falsehood knowingly right and the ability to return it. And confronting poverty knowingly with conviction and taking honorable steps to get out of it, and knowingly facing weakness with strength and the ability to impose it with justice. Facing humiliation knowingly with pride and the ability to exercise it.
Courage is a virtue, and like all virtues, it is situated between two vices.
Excessive courage is recklessness, lack of courage is cowardice.
As for the fact that the definition of courage is death in wars and receiving stabs only, it is an incomplete definition, and the courage to express an opinion and the courage to seek freedom comes to mind.
One young man said: Education is courage, Doctor; It has the courage to face ignorance and the courage to change reality.
I said: I totally agree….to be continued in the next dialogue.

Mighty Dialogue Between Youth and Adults (3)

Painting by Dalia Hamouda

Just as the dialogue about human values with young people was exciting, so was this dialogue with their families.
This is a dialogue that took place in a new way, in fact, on Facebook Time, and on the Zoom platform, and it included different generations that were attracted by the dialogue, so they participated and added. I have collected it in one article to spread the benefit and open new windows for thinking.
You still remember that we spoke with youth in the previous dialogue about 35 human values that should be included in the lives of children and teen ager in educational institutions, the media and the arts, and we discussed the accusation by young people of the older generations of conflicting concepts they have, as a result of the behavior of this generation that contradicts the concepts of values they claim.
An intelligent mother of Young dreamers, saying:
I thought about the 35 values that has been discussed, and I have two observations:
The first: that some of these values are intertwined by definition, pillars or results, and accordingly it can be reduced to about ten main values.
The second: The word (pride) mentioned in the enumeration of values has an unpopular connotation in popular understanding. For the common people, it means arrogance or arrogance and can be used (self-pride), or as they say (self-respect) or (self-esteem) as an alternative.
In another call, one of the dreamers’ fathers said: I imagine that the question should not only relate to values, as it should relate to the institutional building that imposes, protects and works to activate these values and consolidate them in the conscience of society.
The dialogue of the “Dreamers of Tomorrow” café is a wonderful formula for spreading ideal ideas, reminding me of the New Call Association and Dr. Saeed Al-Najjar in the early nineties.
In fact, it hurts me, rather it torments me to see the state shrink and withdraw from people’s lives and their life concerns, leaving the whole of society floundering in the quagmire of backwardness, want and chaos.
Sorry for the gloomy look and I hope I’m wrong.
I replied to him: You are wrong, sir; Because young people today are better than you think and more valuable than our imaginations. I see latent energies and superior abilities that need release, not repression, freedom, not closure, or the matter remaining as it is, in order to satisfy older generations who see in their ideas foolishness, and in their means accusations and sins.
In the midst of the communications of the older generations, Mahmoud Kaddah, the grandson of my older brother, asked me:
Why did you mention faith among the values? Is faith a human value? Can you explain to me the definition of the value of faith and why it was chosen? What is the relationship of this value to human interactions between humans?
I was pleased with his question and said to him: My son, the literal meaning of faith is to believe what has no proof, and it is said that every person needs faith in one way or another. With the increase in the area of knowledge, many of what we thought were unseen, science proved its proof.
My mind tells me that the space of faith for the ignorant is wide, and his space for those who search may be limited to what is after death; Because belief in God has evidence for the sane and the thinker.
The truth is that faith is not a value, as you say, Mahmoud, in the sense that we have explained.
And my educated friend, mother and grandmother, says in another call:
Belief in the Creator, Mahmoud, is a mental instinct created with man, and not a value he acquires.
This is what Dr. Tamer Zakaria disagreed with, saying that faith is an acquired value, and the two d. Amr Abu Al-Ezz, pointing out that faith is a gift from God that is neither innate nor acquired.
In response to Mahmoud’s question about the value of faith in relationships between people, my educated lawyer friend Shams Noor said: The term belief in another human being or belief that this person is capable of achieving something or a goal, and it is a metaphorical belief in the sense of belief based on previous experience and practical testing and succession of achievements for this. The person, which deviates from the definition of linguistic belief in the search for proof; Because the proof here is the precedent of success and achievement for this person.
My friend Dr. Ayman Al Mohandes commented on the phone from New York, raising other questions:
Are the values absolute or relative?
Are the values fixed or dynamic?
What are the relative values to each other?
And in the case of selection, do we have to give one value over another?
Can we separate societal values from individual values?
– One of the young judges whom Egypt is proud of, saying:
Dear Dr. Hossam..
First of all, I would like to salute you for raising a very important and sensitive topic. This is because values and principles are the true mirror that reflects the extent of peoples’ civility, awareness and advancement, and I believe that Egyptian society suffers from a major and chronic crisis in the concept of values, which can be clearly seen in various aspects of life.
Therefore, I would like to respond to the article in the following points:
1-The ongoing conflict between adhering to those values and adopting them as a way of life on the one hand, and the challenges and moral crises experienced by man on the ground on the other hand; Rather, it is a living example of human suffering (and not a problem of a particular generation), so how can we teach our children higher values and sing about their greatness, then discover when they enter the fray of life that they must – in most cases – abandon those values so that they can overcome the difficulties and challenges of life.
We are not in a utopia or in an ideal world; We live in a world full of conflicts, conspiracies, personal interests, grudges, wars and hatred; And if someone adheres to these values along the line, it is possible that he will live a miserable life full of misery, and may be subjected to injustice and become easy prey, and this is not a defect in him, but because there is a terrible defect in the system of values and morals in most human beings.
2-This challenge must be faced with utmost frankness and transparency. So we can get past it. Unfortunately, the Egyptians have been subjected to a systematic process of eroding values ​​and morals until one of the most prominent characteristics of a large percentage of Egyptians has become laziness – lying – hypocrisy – lack of attention to hygiene – extremism – contempt for women – opportunism – racism – sectarianism – corruption – chaos – randomness – and fraud… And other reprehensible attributes that made Egypt lag behind the countries of the world in indicators of education, health and the standard of living of the individual, and lead it in harassment and corruption; Therefore, an integrated system must be formed – education is its most important pillar – to inculcate values ​​and principles in the minds of new generations, and the state must make this its first national project – and the most important for the reconstruction and restoration of the Egyptian personality; To become a life-loving person – a connoisseur of art and beauty – attentive to conscience – sanctifying work – accepting difference – respecting women – free of belief… The state must harness all its resources and capabilities to achieve that goal. And he added: In the context of young people’s opinions about sacrifice, I think that getting a return for sacrifice does not detract from it as an important and basic value for the continuation of life. Great but very rare.
I also liked the youth’s comment on the value of respect and obedience, and I agreed with them on the distinction between respect based on conviction and equality on the one hand, and blind obedience and absolute submission, which is actually considered a manifestation of slavery and should not be included in the values to be spread.
For this hadith, we combine values with each other, put priorities, and ask readers to continue communication and participation, for the dream is our dream, old and young, old and children.

Mighty Dialogue Between Generations (4)

Painting by Salah Taher
The educated, bold young woman said: I put freedom, justice and responsibility first.
And her colleague said: I put after it as a group honesty and integrity and honesty together.
I said: It is logical, and I add to it that sometimes we have to explain the value by mentioning its opposite.. The value of honesty, for example, may appear greater and higher in a society where lying is common, and the punishment for lying becomes very important to demonstrate the value of honesty; Because with the passage of time and the repetition of getting used to lying, it becomes; As if it were a way of life, it passed before us without comment; As if that is the reality we accepted. No and a thousand no, we have to raise the value of honesty and instill lying wherever it is.
A third said: I think that we must adhere to some precision and perfection.
I said: I place with you tolerance, mercy, benevolence, thanksgiving, forgiveness, compassion, gratitude, righteousness and solidarity, in one crucible.
A fourth young woman said: We put friendship, love and giving together.
The dialogue flowed between the young people about the meanings, and one of them said: I put happiness and beauty in the foreground, for whoever does not know the meaning of happiness and searches for it will not find it as you taught us. Talk to us about the value of beauty and happiness, Doctor.
I said: I will focus my answer on the entrance to beauty and its effect on human happiness; If you understand the philosophy of beauty and learn how to extract it from everything around you, you will be happier and more joyful; Every happy person will release positive energy around him, and the energy will turn into action and achievement.
My children, beauty is a characteristic that is manifested in everything around us, and it is a kind of order, harmony and harmony that has countless manifestations and manifestations, accuracy, tenderness, consistency, balance and interdependence… and many other manifestations that the conscience feels, even if it cannot express it sometimes.
The human soul that has taste for beauty is the soul that is capable of creativity, innovation, seeing what is beautiful and building on it.
The nature of man, without the distortions we do with him in family education or the educational climate, or the media that focuses on negatives and mistakes, is attracted by itself to everything that is beautiful. It was reported from the Messenger of God (peace be upon him): “God is beautiful and loves beauty.” The ability of the Creator, Glory be to Him, wanted to make beauty – in its various forms – a source of human satisfaction and happiness. The desirability of beauty is a common right…a right for everyone in which a person does not need to have a position, a power, or money to enjoy it.
The human values ​​that we are talking about, the philosophy of morality, the science of logic, and the philosophy of beauty, with varying degrees of depth, must be included in the conscience of each one, according to the age stage in which he lives.
Be beautiful.. you see existence beautiful, be happy… you see existence happy, and let’s spread positive energy in our country, and look at the most beautiful around us, and the most beautiful around us, everything has beauty. Look for beauty and happiness will come to you, for God’s blessings are countless, for us and around us.
Don’t wait for happiness to smile, smile to be happy.
Don’t wait for happiness, if you don’t want it, and find what makes you happy.
Happiness comes to those who ask for it, so know its secret, seek it, and be.. of your own will a happy person.
The first young woman commented: What about friendship and love? We hear stories about the change of morals and principles of some people who have a strong friendship that lasted for some time and then collapsed with the first challenge, or marriages that began with love and love or lasted for years, and then began hatred, courts and conflict… Are these values ​​relative, as your friend Dr. says. Ayman Al Mohandes from New York in his call to you in the previous article?
I said: Your observation is important and bold. The person you admired yesterday, his abilities and his good thinking changes today and may turn against you completely, and a state of attraction and tension begins with him, and feelings of appreciation turn into hostile feelings. We see this around us, and such behavior can be observed in the work environment or among girlfriends and friends, once you see them in the top of harmony and sometimes you see them on opposite sides, and it happens between young and old. It is a behavior that is not specific to a specific age group, but is general and universal in every human being and in every society. Is this human nature, or a lack of awareness of the qualities of friends and loved ones?!! Therefore, people are surprised, including themselves, at a particular moment; As a result of not realizing, there may actually be no surprises.
Imam Ali bin Abi Talib says: “Love your lover in ease as he may one day hate you, and hate your enemy with ease as long as he may be your lover one day.
Does this mean that the values ​​of friendship and love are not permanent? The answer is yes, and they are two values ​​that we must preserve, otherwise they will be lost among the priorities of interests.
Love, for example, must be in a balanced manner, as well as hostility must be without exaggeration, injustice and aggression; In all cases, slowness, patience and endurance are required. People do not always talk and do as we want and we like. There are different interests of human beings, and interests that may coincide and may sometimes conflict; There are priorities in the life of every person, who may not know that they are his priorities, except when he is exposed to dangers, even the one he loves.
The message here is that hostility must not be absolute, inevitable and permanent, but we must always make a way to go back and back, and if you close a door open a window. Likewise in the field of love and friendship, do not bleed and drain your feelings in vain, but keep the balance line always present.
The clever young woman said: The opposite idea, Doctor, says that this comes from the wisdom of experience, and from the length of people’s coexistence, but it also immediately takes the feeling that brings the highest levels of pleasure from some extremism in closeness, love, love and jealousy that distinguishes young people and young people.
I said: Indeed, wisdom makes long-term balanced feelings, and takes a little ecstasy, and the extremism of feelings gives ecstasy that may not be long, so do not live a lifetime with a person.
Even in politics, the leaders who moved peoples and invaded countries were often extremists in thought and perception. Which one is closer to your mind and conscience?
She said with a smile: Colloquially, “Who is this over this?”… Every age has its rules, Doctor… We must take from your wisdom, and you must bear with us.

Generation Dialogue about Human Values

Photo from the internet

After we agreed on dividing values ​​into groups, and excluding some of them, I remind the reader that we agreed on the following groups:
First: freedom, justice and responsibility.
Second: honesty, integrity and honesty.
Third: knowledge, accuracy and mastery.
Fourth: Courage, citizenship, tolerance, mercy, benevolence, forgiveness, compassion, gratitude, righteousness, solidarity and positive patience.
Fifth: Beauty, happiness and contentment
Sixth: friendship, love and giving
Seventh: cleanliness, environmental balance and self-esteem.
We agreed to leave the relative priorities among the values ​​for further discussion. One of the young men raised the view of adding the value of confidence in oneself and others, although it has been acquired over the years.
I told her: We can combine self-esteem with self-confidence, a value different from trusting others. Self-confidence comes from the accumulation of knowledge and human skill in dealing with situations, and his repeated achievements and excellence, which is also reflected in the confidence of others in him. Usually the person of trust has a fixed position and point of view, and it makes no difference whether that position is right or wrong, but rather the extent to which the person is certain of its veracity.
A self-confident person has the ability to motivate himself automatically without the need for external stimulation, which is also important, and this confidence gives him the ability, strength and enthusiasm to work, give and achieve strongly to reach goals and achieve wishes and desires, and he is usually reconciled with himself and others.
The girl said: It is not a condition, Doctor, that the self-confident person be a distinguished and accomplished person. Most selfish people see themselves always right and have confidence in themselves based on their ignorance and their failure to see alternatives, they only see themselves.
She smiled admiring her glance, which may be missed by many.
And her colleague added: Likewise, the fanatics of an idea, a religion or an ideology may be very self-confident, but that is because they cannot see any point of view other than what they see. They are absolutely wrong, and they are absolutely right.
Another young man said: So self-confidence here becomes a curse on society.
His colleague said: What about trusting others? Is it possible to live life without trusting parents, trusting friends, or family?
A third young woman said: What about trust in the system, or in your company or society?
I said: What you say is very important, because confidence has wings and entrances, but we have to know that self-confidence is an attribute that is not born with a person, but is acquired day after day. This is why some people have a lot of it, and some people don’t have enough self-confidence. And each of you knows who he is… and can you boost your self-confidence more? and how?
People with low self-confidence are people who do not stop underestimating themselves, and they do not even think that others can see anything special in them. Their lack of self-confidence and low belief in their abilities always prevents them from taking the initiative and moving forward, they always exclude the possibility of success in what they do. Also, people who don’t have enough self-confidence make themselves feel uncomfortable. They often have trouble managing their daily lives. While self-confidence teaches the individual how to think and act independently and freely, and gives his relationships with others a different and distinct character from others.
The young man said: What about trusting others?
I said: Trust in others is a different issue, and it is important as you mentioned, but it comes from the experience of each one of you and his experiences with a lover or friend, and perhaps it should not be absolute.. But the historical accumulation of human relations makes trust in parents, for example, almost absolute.
The young man said: What are the keys to self-confidence, doctor?
I said: Psychologists have found that the causes of lack of self-confidence are mostly rooted in childhood or adolescence, and it is for parents, teachers, siblings, and the environment
In general, a large role in the formation of this; For example, when they criticize the child for his appearance, for his failure to study, or for anything negative about him, instead of trying to work on correcting him and encouraging him to improve. This is increased by repeated negative blame rather than positive reformist admonition.
There are five keys that I can recommend to you to increase your self-confidence:
First: to be distinguished, as every person has advantages, so let him work on them, highlight them, increase them, and express them.
Second: to be persistent and not try to change your personalities to please others; You cannot be a copy of others just to win their approval.
Third: To be challenged and set for each day small goals, based on your knowledge of the reality of your abilities, so that they are reasonable and achievable on the ground in a certain period of time. Do it gradually, break your work into phases, and each time raise the difficulty of the challenge.
Fourth: Remember and do not stop repeating positive sentences in your heart, or even out loud when you are alone: ​​“I can do that,” or “Yes, I have the necessary competence for this job,” or “I am the best.” This trick will help you to become more positive in the way you think, overcome any feelings of frustration or lack of self-confidence, and make you expel negative thoughts from your head. But this method will not succeed or produce the desired results unless you believe in your abilities and work to develop them.
And finally: to bravely face uncomfortable and embarrassing situations in which you feel uncomfortable. Do not cast your eyes to the ground and be broken as soon as someone criticizes you. Rather, you must persevere and confront, respond and be positive in the discussion, and with repetition of the matter, you will gain experience that will make you able to avoid such situations, or at least confront them with confidence.
The quarrelsome young woman said: I mean, in the end, do we place trust as a human value or not?
Her colleague replied, “Let the value we place be specific to “self-confidence and self-respect.”
I said: On the occasion of self-respect, and since we are in the season of elections for both houses of Parliament, I would like to dialogue with you on the values ​​of freedom, justice, integrity and responsibility.
I ask you frankly: Who among you went and participated in the elections for the Senate? Do you intend to participate in expressing your opinion on the elections for the other chamber of Parliament?
They looked at each other, and I saw some signs of distress on their faces, and the quarrelsome young woman said: Doctor, you mean the referendum, not the elections, because there were no lists to choose between, and no parties competing with each other, the scene was one color and one shape..
I said: This is a topic that we must return to in more depth as we discuss the values ​​of freedom, justice and integrity in our next meeting.